When I was pregnant with my second, a friend candidly told me how hard two is. Her intent was not to scare me, it was more like a warning that things were going to be hard for a while. I honestly thought things would be different for me. I thought that the reason my first was so good natured and easy was because of my parenting (haha).
Having one kid, piece of cake. My first baby was an angel and such a good sleeper. My second, has thrown me for a loop. With one, I never understood what other parents were going through when they complained about sleep deprivation and needing time alone. My oldest has always been easy going and adaptable. We could take her anywhere, she entertains herself, and we always got a full nights sleep, pretty much from day one.
Times have changed. Pretty much everything about baby #2 has been different. My recovery was much harder and getting her to sleep was (and is!) much harder. It probably didn’t help that we moved across the country when she was 2 months old. And now, I am struggling. Two is very hard. I feel defeated and alone.
There is also a small part of me that is resentful about having to share my body with another little person. I was still nursing #1 when I got pregnant with #2 so for the last 3 years I have had to share myself physically with my girls. I used to love nursing, but lately it’s felt like a chore.
I just want to be able to sleep uninterrupted at night! I want a few nights away from my kids so I can reconnect with my husband. I feel like I have been in survival mode for too long. I want to feel refreshed instead of totally drained.