Going into today, I was excited and motivated, but, now I am panicky and uneasy. This is going to be a long month. I am already bored with my food. I carefully planned food that I know we like, but tonight’s steak does not sound appealing (which is a major first!) I am full, but I don’t feel satisfied. Chocolate has always had a strong hold on me, I knew that would be really hard for me to go without, but I didn’t expect to feel this crappy about it, this soon.
I am still committed, possibly even more committed. I need to do this to loosen sugar’s hold on my body. I want food freedom. My “last meal” yesterday was homemade mac and cheese. Can you think of a more anti-Whole30 food than mac and cheese? I did not enjoy it. It made me physically ill that was a reminder of why I wanted to do this in the first place. My food habits are making me sick and I want to get better.
This morning I went to a special Labor Day CrossFit workout. It was a team WOD and among my team members were four girls who were new to CrossFit. I was reminded me of how far I have come in the four short months I have been doing CrossFit. One girl asked me, “Does it get any easier?” And my answer is yes, and no. Parts of CrossFit have gotten easier, and my endurance has definitely improved, but every workout is still hard. I think that’s how eating will always be for me. I don’t think there is a cure for my food addictions, that will always be there, but I have hope that parts of it can get easier.